I'm Yours, Axel
by NinjaChan97
Summary: Axel and Roxas are desperate to rid themselves of the ache that their hearts behold. They hope for their lives to change, and for the ache to dissappear. But their past might just haunt them forever. *UPDATED* Yaoi, fluff, lemon in future chapters. Promise.
1. Heartbreak, True Feelings, and Pure Love

**WARNING: This is yaoi. Don't like? Then don't read it, silly.**

**DISCLAIMER: I (sadly) do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters. This is a purely fan made fanfiction.**

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><p>Here I am. Sitting on this old clock tower in Twilight Town, dwelling in my sorrows like some pathetic, brokenhearted, teenage girl. It does kind of make sense, though. No. I am not a teenage girl. I'm a teenage boy. But I did just get my heart crushed.<p>

_'Why in the hell was I so fucking stupid? It was right in front of my fucking face the entire time.'_

Yet, I chose not to believe it. So technically, I chose this heartbreak for myself.

_'Nice going.'_

I think to myself as I sit on the previously mentioned old clock tower in Twilight Town. The place where I grew up.

Why am I doing this?

Because I just found out the one I thought I loved, who I also thought loved me back, was cheating on me.

Yup. Isn't it the most despicable thing a human being could do? I think so.

Who is this person, though? The one I keep saying "broke my heart"?

His name is Sora.

We had gone out for about a year. I loved him _**so**_ much. We did everything together.

Really!

We ate together, hung out with the same group of friends, went to school together, even almost moved in together.

He even took my virginity.

Yeah.

Isn't...isn't that suppose to be special?

Ya know, like 'losing your virginity' is a big deal...

..right?

It didn't bother him at all, though. He could have given a fuck less.

Pardon the french.

I use to think he really didn't care about it because he had already lost his. (Mind you, he never would tell me who he lost it to.) That maybe it was because he thought we were going to be together forever. So he might have seen no reason to worry.

He didn't, though.

I was the only one who thought about things like that...

It's amazing how your whole world can change in one second. It especially hurts when you see it in action. Witnessing it. Your world being taken away from you, and finding out that your world never even loved you from the start.

That's right.

I saw it happen.

I...walked in on them. In my apartment.

It was going to be our apartment.

Sora was about to move in with me. But as you see, that didn't happen.

And what did they do when I walked in on them? You think they would blush and then try to 'explain', but no.

They ignored me. To lost in the pleasure to even acknowledge me. But, when Sora finally saw me, you could just tell we wasn't sorry.

He tried. He tried his damn best to come up with something. Anything. Anything at all.

But he couldn't.

He was far too late. I was already half way out the door. On my way out I heard him scream,

"I'm sorry, Roxas!"

But he truly wasn't. I just knew it. So I ran. Far, far away. I didn't even know where I was going.

Until ended up on the clock tower.

I feel so dumb. It was right in front of my face and I chose to ignore it. Oh, and it really doesn't help that the one that Sora cheated on me with? Yeah, a friend of mine. This really does suck. I've had thoughts of suicide. But then I'd just be 10x more pathetic than I am now.

Suddenly, a very familiar voice pulls me out of my deep thoughts and sorrow dwelling.

"Hey, Roxy."

I turn to face the person. It's him.

Axel.

A friend of mine that I've known since play pin days. He's a very tall, slender and rather attractive redhead with very interesting hair.

"Hey."

I reply, turning back to looking off the edge of the clock tower. I know what you're thinking. I just said that I thought he was attractive, didn't I? So why don't I get with him? He should get my mind off of Sora. Well, it really isn't that simple. It isn't a gay issue, though.

I'm gay. He knows this. He's gay. I know this. Oh which reminds me! He has a boyfriend. Well, more like had. That really isn't a problem anymore. His boyfriend was Riku. But you see, Riku is the one Sora had cheated on me with. So I guess those aren't really problems anymore. The problem is that it...could never happen.

It just...can't.

Axel and I were just too close of friends. I can't tell if he likes me back, so I do nothing because I am far to frightened I will mess up our friendship. And if keeping a close friendship is the only way I can stay close to Axel, then so be it. For now.

"So looks like we're in the same boat, huh?"

He say's, sadness obvious in his voice. I feel my heart sink. I hate it when he sounds like that. Which sadly, he sounded like that a lot because of Riku. But wait.

_'How does he know about Sora and Riku? Did he know all along, and I was just that damn thick?'_

"Uh...H-how did you find out?"

He paled.

"I...walked in on them...ya know."

How can something be so fucking ironic?

"Heh, we really are in the same boat then. I walked in on them, too."

"R-Really? Um...where?" He asked, still very pale.

"...my apartment."

I reply, trying desperately to hide my sadness while flashbacks go through my head.

He slowly walks over to me and sits down beside me. I sneak a quick glance at him. He's more heartbroken than I thought he would be, It looks like he cried. I close my eyes as he gently rubs his thumb across my check.

I feel my heart skip a beat.

Axel is always so warm, I just love it when he touches me. Why did he do that, though?

"You're crying."

He said with concern in his voice. Turns out I had let out a tear and didn't even realize it.

I wonder though, was that tear because of Sora?

Or was it because I hate seeing Axel in pain? I push away my thoughts and remember that the attractive redhead is right in front me, obviously concerned. I stutter out incoherent words trying to not look stupid.

"Oh...um...I-I-" Fail.

He cuts off my meaningless stuttering by pulling me into a warm embrace. Typical Axel. Pushing back his emotions so he can take care of me first.

"Shhh...I know, Roxas...I know,"

He say's while rubbing circles on my back. I could fall asleep like this. No lie. It's just so comforting being in his arms. I can't remember a time in my life I've ever felt more...more...safe.

He let's out a low chuckle, as I accidentally let out a sigh of comfort.

"Comfy, are we?"

I blush a insanely dark shade of red. Still in his arms, I try to hide my face in his chest as he tries to pull me off to face him. I assume he want's to look at me to see my blush, then pick on me. So I continue to fight my way into his chest. Until,

"Roxas."

He say's, seriousness dripping in his voice. I'm caught off guard by this, so I completely freeze. He gentle grips my chin and slowly pulls it up to face him. We just sat there like that for what seamed like forever, when I know it was only a short amount of time.

Me frozen to my spot, face still flushed but more of a light pink, slightly teary eyed, him still gripping my chin gently.

Just like that. Perfectly still. Staring into one another's eyes. His are filled with so many emotions. I don't believe I've ever seen this side of him before. It's...intriguing...and...intoxicating.

_'How could just two eyes hold so much emotion?'_ I wonder as I see sorrow, guilt, and something I don't believe I'm familiar with. I think it's...love. Sora never had that look in his eyes. I see why now.

He leans closer..._**slowly.**__.._almost..._**painfully slow**_. It happened.

He _**kissed**_ me.

This is probably going to sound so cliché, but it's true.

It felt amazing. One thousand times better than I've ever felt while kissing Sora.

I feel electricity and adrenalin coursing though me. This...this is...everything I've ever wanted.

Our slow and gentle kiss turned into a rough, and full of raw emotion make out session. Until we realized we needed oxygen, so we parted. I feel my cheek. I had cried more. Tears of happiness. He slowly cups my face as we sit there panting.

"Axel...I-" I try but fail. I'm cut off by his lips, as he lifts me into his lap, and I wrap my arms around his neck and legs around his slender waist. Then, he opens a portal next to us. Part of me wants to ask where he is taking me, but the other half never want's him to stop kissing me. Let's just say the 'other half' got the better of me.

We break apart as he lays me down on the all to familiar sheets of his bed. I've been over to Axel and Riku's apartment many times, seeing as Axel and I have known each other for so long. Same for Sora and Riku. I lay there panting as he climbs on top of me.

"Axel-" I try but are cut off, yet again.

"Shhh. I don't want to hear your apologies for not telling me. Hell, I did the same thing."

_'He read my mind.'_ I think as he leans down.

"I love you, Roxas."

He whispers in my ear, as I savor his warm breath against my skin.

"I love you too, Axel."

His eyes no longer have many emotions. Just love. Pure, beautiful, magical, love. Something in me tells me mine are no different. I let out soft noises and cries as he lavishes me with soft, and gentle, yet tender and loving kisses and touches. As he looks me in the eye and say's,

"Roxas, be mine. Please? I've loved you for so long."

As I reply with,

"I'm yours, Axel."

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><p><strong>Click that little arrow up there to read the next chapter.<strong>

**...you know you want to.**

**NinjaChan97**


	2. The Longer You're Gone, The More I Ache

_"I love you, Roxas."_

_He whispers in my ear, as I savor his warm breath against my skin._

_"I love you too, Axel."_

_His eyes no longer have many emotions. Just love. Pure, beautiful, magical, love. Something in me tells me mine are no different. I let out soft noises and cries as he lavishes me with soft, and gentle, yet tender and loving kisses and touches. As he looks me in the eye and say's,_

_"Roxas, be mine. Please? I've loved you for so long."_

_As I reply with,_

_"I'm yours, Axel."_

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><p>Deep dark blue eyes fluttered open, as a blonde boy awoke. Shielding them from the blinding sun as he sat up in bed, scratching his messy head of hair, smiling at the dream he had.<p>

_'I remember it like it was yesterday. That night. Wait...where is he?'_

His smile began to fade as sadness engulfed him. He missed the protective arms around him, and yearned for the warmth he woke up to each morning.

"That's right...he's gone."

The blonde pulled his blanket-covered knees in close, as more memories of his beloved filled his senses, and tears began to arise in the deep blue orbs.

"I...miss him...so...much."

His head fell upon his knees, as he let his tears fall for about the twelfth time that week.

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><p>Deciding that he shouldn't waste his day away with tears, he pulled himself out of bed, and wobbled down the hall to the bathroom. His fragile fingers reached for the silver knob that belong to the shower, as he tugged on it, and water began to pour.<p>

Stepping back as he awaited for the water to warm-up, he glanced at himself in the mirror.

"I look like I've gotten beat up."

He spoke his thoughts out loud, for no one to hear, as he rubbed his face and stared at the reddened puffy eyeballs.

"Why does he do this to me?"

He flinched as bullet-like water pelted him, as he stepped into the warm shower.

_'It reminds me of him. Yet it's...not the same.'_

"Nothing can compare to his warmth."

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><p>The blonde had managed to pull himself out of the shower after standing there for so long. He stood in the shared closet that rested in their bedroom, with a blank expression on his face, as he searched for something to wear.<p>

He looked over his clothes, as he pulled on a pair of boxers and dark wash jeans. Wrapping the towel around his head, he turned around to look at what else lied in the dark closet. His eyes scanned over the clothes that rested across from his. They were much to large for him, yet had similarity in style.

_'His clothes...'_

The petite blonde pulled out a large black sweatshirt with odd designs that resembled flames on it. He smiled as he pulled the bundle of fabric close.

_'His sent...'_

The blonde felt tears springing to his beautiful blue eyes, as more memories rushed their way around his mind. He slipped the comforting fabric on, as he slowly drug his depressed being over to the king sized bed that rested in the middle of the room; The place he spent most his time. He felt the bed slowly move up and down in a bouncy motion, as me plopped down ontop of it.

_'His clothes. His sent. Our house. Our bedroom. Our closet. Our bed. It's all empty...without him. I-I miss him. I...n-need him.'_

"Oh, Axel."

The blonde boy began to ball as he snuggled close to the pillows. Thoughts of the redhead that he loved so very much attacked him like heartless beings. He began to feel sick, as he continued to cry, deciding to disappear into the fluffy white covers of the empty bed.

Longing for it to become not so empty...

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><p>A loud creaking noise echoed in the room, as the door opened. The intruder slowly walked over to the bed that held the very desolate slumbering boy.<p>

"He's more of a mess than I thought..."

The intruder sat atop the mess of fluffy white, as the small blonde that rested there began to stir. He gently rubbed the slumbering blondes back, awaiting for him to wake up.

The depressed blonde began to register that he wasn't alone anymore...

_'W-Who's...who's rubbing m-my back...?'_

The intruder almost fell off the bed as the now very alert blonde snapped up.

"W-Who's there!"

"Roxas..."

The blonde began to calm down a bit as he finally realized who it was. He had no reason to worry. This person may be very clumsy at times; but would never hurt him.

"Demyx, what are you doing here?"

The dirty blonde straightened up as a goofy grin spread across his face.

"I came to cheer you up, Roxas!"

"C-Cheer me up? What do you mean?"

"Roxas...I know you miss him."

The blondes head dropped, as he tried hard not to cry in front of Demyx.

"We all miss him. Even Zexion...now that's saying something."

Demyx winked at Roxas, as he encircled his arms around him, and gave him a nice hug.

"It's going to be okay, Roxas. I promise."

"I know, Dem. I know."

The dirty blonde gave the small boys back another good rub, before finally detaching himself.

"It's okay to cry you know."

"I-I know. I just...don't feel like it. That's all."

He gave the unfortunate boy a sad smile, as he rubbed his head, ruffling the blonde spikes that rested there.

"Alright then! I, Demyx, am taking you, Roxas, out tonight. Your coming with me to meet Zexion at the café. So go get dressed mister!"

"O-Out? Cafe? D-Demyx!"

"Get dressed, and meet me in the kitchen!"

"But Demyx, I really don feel li-"

The young blonde was cut off, as the elder stomped away, grabbing the doorknob to the bedroom door.

"You'll thank me later, Roxas."

The mischievous dirty blonde left Roxas to himself with an audible 'slam' coming from the door. Our poor blonde climbed out of the empty warmth of the blankets, as he retreated to his closet for the second time that day with a sigh.

"I'll get you for this later, Demyx."

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><p>Roxas looked at his reflection in the mirror as he changed. Taking the sweater off, and throwing it in the hamper. The sent that was embedded in it still lingering in the room. He watched himself, as he pulled on a white button up shirt, and began to button it top to bottom.<p>

Then slipping on a light blue sweater that belonged to him this time. Knowing it would be cold out, he grabbed a gray scarf off its hook, and wrapped it loosely around his neck. This attention returned to the mirror, as he looked himself up and down. Lazily fixing his unruly spikes.

_'This is about as good as it's going to get.'_

He fumbled down the hall as he spotted a familiar dirty blonde resting exactly where he said he'd be; the kitchen.

"Don't you look lively."

He spoke in a sarcastic tone that Roxas did all but appreciate.

"Don't get cocky, Dem."

"Fine, fine. Ready to go?"

"I guess so..."

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><p>Roxas shivered as the chilly air circled all around him, cursing himself for not bringing more than his thin sweater. He looked over to the park as he and Demyx walked down the pavement.<p>

The trees were full of gorgeous colorful leaves, autumn rested in the sky, and Roxas swore he could smell pumpkin pie lingering in the air.

_'November...it's been two months.'_

A frown grew on the young blondes face as Axel began to fill his senses yet again.

"So what are you gonna get at the café?"

The goofy latter that walked next to him asked, bringing Roxas out of his thoughts.

"Mm...the usual."

"Pumpkin Pie Latte?"

"Yeah. You?"

"The usual."

"Caramel Mocha with extra whipped cream and chocolate shavings on top?"

"Yup!"

Roxas shook his head as he laughed at his goof ball of a friend that was simply Demyx. There was no other way to explain him really.

"What? Quiet laughing!"

"Nothing Demyx, nothing. And only if you stop making me laugh!"

'How is this my fault? I didn't do anything."

"Sure."

"I didn't!"

"Alright, alright. Drop it would you?"

Demyx grumbled unaudible words under his breath, as he stormed into the café, Roxas followed, rolling his eyes. They order their 'usual drinks' and then sat with a familiar bluenette.

"Hello, Roxas. How are you feeling?"

Roxas smiled at his blue haired friend, while sitting down across from him, as Demyx scooted close into Zexion's side.

"Hi, Zexion. I'm well. You?"

"I'm well also. Thank you."

"...what are you guy's from England now?"

Roxas laughed at the silly dirty blondes remark, as he began to play with the hem of his sweater.

"Using proper English doesn't make you British, Demyx."

"Sure, sure. Zexy?"

"Yes, Dem?"

"Roxy made me feel bad."

"Oh?"

Zexion gave the blonde sitting across from him a quick glance and smirk, then returned his attention to his upset love.

"What did he do to upset you?"

"He wouldn't stop laughing at me. Even when I asked him too. J-Just like he's doing now!"

The attention fell upon the spiky haired blonde resting in the corner of the booth as he burst into a fit of giggles.

"I-I'm sorry, Dem. But I t-told you. If you w-wouldn't make me laugh, I wouldn't l-laugh."

"Liar! You always laugh at me no matter what I do!"

"And your point i-is?"

"Zexy make him stop!"

Zexion sighed as he tried to refrain his laughter so wouldn't have an even madder blonde on his hands.

"Yes, love. Roxas, I need you too control yourself. If my Demyx tells you not to laugh at him, you don't laugh. Understand?"

Roxas fixed himself a bit, as he straightened in the booth and faced the two.

"Yes sir. Please accept my apologies, Demyx."

"Well of course, Rox!"

Demyx all but screamed as he lunged himself at the blonde boy, practically strangling him.

"Hey. Forgetting about me? I am the one who made him stop you know..."

"Oh, of course, Zexy! Thank you!"

Demyx climbed back into the booth that Zexion was in, as he snuggled close to him yet again, and Zexion stole a quick kiss that Demyx melted into.

"Heh, Zexy. Love you."

"Love you too, kitten."

Roxas sat there watching the two, as he attempted to hide away his sadness.

_'They're so sweet. It makes me miss him more.'_

They all straightened as the waitress brought their orders, and sat them in front of the boys. They all thanked her, as she vanished into the back again.

"Hey, Roxas."

"Hm?"

"You look a little blue. Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Really guy's. Don't worry, alright?"

Roxas told his curious friends, as he pulled a fake smile, hoping they would believe his package of white lies.

"Alright. If you say so."

They all returned to sipping away their coffees, and making small talk.

Demyx went on about some new music store that was opening in the mall, Zexion talked about a new book he discovered while book hunting, while Roxas just listened intently.

"I was thinking about going after we get done here. You wanna come, Roxas?"

"To the book store?"

"No! The new music store!"

"Why can't we go to the book store?"

"Well, I didn't say we can't. But I definitely wanna go to the music store, Zex!"

Roxas' eyes wandered as he ignored the bickering two. Thoughts of a certain redhead came to mind again, as he thought about all the times they had gone to the mall together, and how much fun they always had.

"Well do you wanna tag along, Rox? It'll be fun!"

Roxas head snapped up to face the excited dirty blonde with a Mohawk-mullet hybrid for hair, and his bluenette friend with slanted bangs.

"I don't really think I'm up to in today guy's. Sorry."

"Roxas, we've been through this already! You need to stay out of the house."

"I know, I know. Look, I was going to call up Hayner and see what he was up to. So I won't be alone. You guy's should go and enjoy yourselves. Don't worry about me, alright?"

"I hope you know that no matter what, we're going to always worry about you. And the fact that you keep saying 'not to worry' only makes us worry more."

"I-I know, Zexion."

"See you later than?"

"Yeah. Oh, and, guy's?"

"Hm?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for caring so much."

"No problem, Rox!"

"What he said."

They all smiled warmly at each other as they walked out of the café. Roxas waved as he headed off to the right, back towards his house. And Zexion and Demyx went left, heading towards the mall where a new music store, and book heaven lied.

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><p>Roxas walked down the sidewalk as he paid close attention to his surroundings, being the only thing keeping his mind at ease. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, dialing his old friend's number.<p>

"_Hello?"_

"_Hey, Hayner."_

"_Roxas?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Hey. Long time no see. How've you been?"_

"_Pretty good. How about you?"_

"_Same. So to what do I own this random phone call?"_

"_Oh, I was just going to see if you maybe wanted to hang out?"_

"_Sounds good to me. Where?"_

"_Park?"_

"_Be there in about ten minutes."_

"_Cool."_

"_Bye."_

"_See you soon."_

Roxas turned the cellular device off as he heard a 'click' signaling that Hayner had hung up. The screen of the phone turned black, engulfing the picture that lied before it into darkness. Roxas stuffed the phone in his pocket as he speed-walked down the pavement.

_'Don't cry, don't cry. No tears. Not now.'_

He sniffled a bit as he stood by the tall cross walk pole, and pressed the button that rested there. He was so deep in thought, he hardly noticed when someone had bumped into him.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!"

"Don't worry about it."

Roxas mumbled as he glanced at the boy next to him, and turned his head in the other direction.

_'Hold on a second. Was that-'_

"Roxas? Roxas Strife? Is that you?"

Roxas froze as he heard the all to familiar voice, as well as noticed the all to familiar spiked brunette hair, and tanned skin.

"S-Sora?

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><p><strong>I'm sorry this took me forever to put up. But, here it is! I hope you guy's like where things are going. More chapters to come!<strong>

**NinjaChan97**


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